The Struggle is Real

"Anthony Miller" (ahmille4)
08/05/2016 at 18:59 • Filed to: None

There are certain things that stereotypically “come with” adulthood. Things like having kids, buying a house, skinning your first deer, doing your own laundry, and forgetting to make your own dentist appointments because you no longer live at home and your mother isn’t around to do it for you. I propose that for the gearhead and individuals who actually connect with those recent Mazda commercials, we add one more thing to the list; the decision between giving up or trying to live with your beloved roadster and your newborn child. Literally nothing, (ok, maybe some things), on this planet presents a greater dilemma to the driving-inclined than what I have mentioned here.

Pictured: child in a roadster. See, it can be done!

Now, if the Washington Post is to be believed, since I am a Millenial, this decision should be an easy one! Give up that car! they say, Embrace the beige life! say others, You want your daughter to see your hands actually touching a steering wheel?!?! shouts Alissa Walker as she is whisked past in her biodegradable automatic Google koala car to some former overpass now turned into a park. However, and I don’t think I am alone in thinking this, the decision is not easy.

If we take a step back from the hyperbole for a moment, the decision should probably be easy. Honestly, why would anyone want to put their child in a place that is typically considered less safe than the other options? The data is clear, according to the IIHS, restraining children in rear seats instead of front seats reduces fatal injury risk by about three-quarters for children up to age 3. Obviously that isn’t an option when it comes to those two-seaters that are near and dear to our hearts. So what keeps us from ditching that Miata sitting in the driveway like Michael Showalter at the end of Wet Hot American Summer ?

There will always be the tired selfish reasons thrown around about why we don’t get rid of things. Sentimental value, an irrational attachment to the past, or a rose-colored memory of “how things used to be” all have a very powerful hold over all of us in one form or another. Any of these reasons make sense, but I think that there is something more that causes us to hold on to these four-wheeled (or more!) freedom machines. In a way, we have such a hard time leaving such immature vehicles (ohhh you have just twooooooo(or less!) seats) behind, because of the same reason many of us instinctually want to have children, they become an extension of ourselves.

Just think about it, when someone spends an inordinant amount of time obsessing over their car’s tail lights *cough* TORCHINSKY *cough*, one could possibly exclaim, “That car is his baby!” and not be ridiculed as they should be for saying that a human being has personified a car to the point of actually thinking it is a human baby. But as soon as someone actually has a baby, society expects them to leave such childish pursuits behind posthaste! The act of trading one for the other effectively destroys an avenue of communication between you and your bouncy little micro-human.

The problem with giving up or having to choose between our impractical roadster and our growing family is not that gearheads are unwilling to grow up, it’s that we are losing a valuable piece of their life experience that we may not be able to impart upon their next generation. In the end, it doesn’t even have to be that irresponsible roadster, it could have two wheels or even six or more wheels, if it is something that will help us connect on a deep, personal level with our families then maybe there is a bigger reason than our selfishness that makes it so hard to give it up. Just maybe, those reasons aren’t so selfish after all.

So, the next time society rolls up and wants to dish out some sweet sweet judgement on that “irresponsible” car, truck, bike, UNIMOG of yours, think about all the good in the world that can come from just one more kid having a better relationship with their parents because they kept that one thing they weren’t supposed to.

*I don’t advocate keeping your “irresponsible” vehicles if they literally prevent you from being a good parent, but, instead of selling that old Triumph whose points never seem to stay set, maybe throw a blanket on that sucker and buy a Camry.*

DISCUSSION (4)

bob and john > Anthony Miller
08/05/2016 at 19:07

you can pry my motorcycles from my cold dead hands

Matt Le Chat > Anthony Miller
08/05/2016 at 19:30

My dad was always a huge car guy, I couldn’t have cared less until one day I bloomed playing gran tourismo 3. Dad and I were able to bond because it got me into cars and him into playing videogames with me. Share your passions with your kids, I am so happy I was able to share that with my dad, it’s a part of him I carry with me always.

Anthony Miller > Matt Le Chat
08/05/2016 at 19:44

I think your response illustrates my point well. It is tough, particularly if say your son or daughter doesn’t share the exact same interests that you do, however, that doesn’t mean you can’t relate through those things in some way. I’m not saying you need to go out and either a) get rid of your hobbies or b) force your hobbies onto them, but try and relate through those experiences without binding your relationship to sharing it with them.

shop-teacher > Anthony Miller
08/05/2016 at 19:58

I agree you should keep the fun car around, just don’t haul the small children around in it.